After childbirth, surgery, or pelvic pain, many women describe a difficult relationship with touch. What once felt safe or pleasurable can instead trigger discomfort, fear, or pain. This is especially common after perineal tears, episiotomies, C-sections, or conditions like vaginismus or dyspareunia.

But the body and mind are adaptable. With gentle, guided strategies, it is possible to rebuild trust in touch, move away from pain, and rediscover pleasure.

Why Touch Can Become Painful

Scar tissue may feel tight, sensitive, or numb.
Pelvic floor tension can cause involuntary guarding or spasms.
Hormonal changes (especially while breastfeeding) can reduce lubrication and increase sensitivity.
Emotional impact: fear of pain, anxiety, or past trauma can amplify physical sensations.

👉 Pain does not mean “damage”, it means the nervous system and muscles are in protective mode.

The Path to Rebuilding Safe Touch

1. Gentle Desensitisation

Start with non-intimate areas, using light touch, massage, or soft fabrics to reintroduce comfort. Over time, progress to areas around scars or the perineum, always at your pace.

2. Scar & Pelvic Floor Therapy

Scar massage (C-section or perineum) helps reduce tension and improve flexibility.
Pelvic floor physiotherapy teaches relaxation, release, and body awareness.

3. Breathing & Relaxation

The Breath helps the pelvic floor release tension and reduces guarding.

4. Partner Involvement

When ready, involve your partner in safe touch exercises: slow massage, non-penetrative intimacy, or guided breathing together. This creates connection without pressure.

5. Gradual Intimacy

There is no deadline to “resume” sex. Focus first on pleasurable, safe touch, progressing only when your body feels ready.

When to Seek Support

If you experience persistent pain, fear, or difficulty resuming intimacy, a women’s health physiotherapist or sex therapist can help with:

Guided exercises (including dilators if needed)
Education and reassurance
Emotional and physical recovery strategies

Healing after pain is not only possible, it can open the door to new forms of intimacy and pleasure. By combining physiotherapy, scar care, breathing, and safe touch exercises, women can rebuild confidence in their bodies and rediscover closeness on their own terms.

✨ Want to rebuild comfort and pleasure after pain? Book a session at Renard Clinic with our women’s health physiotherapists for compassionate, evidence-based support.