Hearing the words “you need surgery”, or even receiving a diagnosis of a pelvic or prostate condition, can change the way you feel about your body overnight. Beyond the medical side, there’s another impact that often goes unspoken: intimacy and connection with your partner.

It’s not just the physical changes (like leakage or pain) that matter. Fear, anxiety, and self-image can affect closeness just as much. The good news? With the right support, intimacy doesn’t have to disappear, it can be adapted, rebuilt, and even strengthened.

Why a Diagnosis or Surgery Affects Intimacy

Fear of the unknown: A diagnosis (like BPH, prostate cancer, or pelvic floor dysfunction) often creates worry about the future. That anxiety can reduce desire or spontaneity.
Body image changes: Scars, catheters, pads, or just the sense of being “different” can lower confidence.
Physical symptoms: Pain, leakage, erectile changes, or fatigue may make intimacy feel difficult.
Emotional impact: Feeling “broken” or “less masculine/feminine” can create distance in the couple, even when the partner doesn’t see you that way at all.

👉 The result? Many people withdraw from intimacy, not because they don’t want closeness, but because they fear rejection, embarrassment, or pain.

What You Can Do About It

1. Acknowledge the Emotional Side

Give yourself permission to grieve the changes, but also to seek help. Intimacy is not just about sex; it’s about connection, trust, and communication.

2. Communicate with Your Partner

Share your fears and concerns instead of hiding them.
Let your partner know what feels safe and what doesn’t.
Explore non-sexual intimacy, touch, massage, cuddling, as bridges back to closeness.

3. Seek Pelvic Health Physiotherapy

Physiotherapists can:

Support scar healing and pelvic floor recovery
Provide strategies to reduce leakage or pain
Teach breathing and relaxation to manage anxiety during intimacy
Offer guidance for gradual return to sexual activity

4. Reframe Intimacy

Intimacy is more than penetration, explore safe touch, sensual massage, or mutual pleasure without pressure.
For couples, this transition can actually deepen emotional connection.

5. Access Professional Support

Sometimes anxiety or relationship strain is heavy. Counselling, sex therapy, or support groups can help normalise the journey and give practical strategies.

A diagnosis or surgery doesn’t just affect your body, it affects your sense of self and your intimacy. But you are not broken. With communication, pelvic physiotherapy, and a gradual rebuilding of trust and touch, intimacy can return in new, fulfilling ways.

✨ Facing changes after diagnosis or surgery? Our pelvic health physiotherapists at Renard Clinic can support both your physical recovery and your confidence in intimacy.